English Breakfast

J: "Just so you know, you're only supposed to use three teaspoons per pot."

M: "Well, I used four. Wait, are teaspoons the big ones or the little ones?"

J: "The little ones."

M: "Oh god..."

It was a bit strong.

Medical school

M: "If I remember correctly from medical school, the neck bone's connected to the backbone."

J: "That wasn't medical school, that was elementary school."

M: "That would explain the singing..."

J: [Pauses.] "I think I may have misrepresented my qualifications on my résumé."